Shiney happy people

UCSB's Storke Plaza had a special visitor yesterday--a chubby, pleasant old man with a white handlebar mustache...no, not Santa. Not John Bolton, either. It was none other than Santa Barbara's very own card carrying--er, 6ft tall sign carrying homophobic Christian zealot! Yay!!! All the kiddies gathered around born again street preacher Paul Johnson as he spouted off about sodomy, androgyny and how us "women all look like men." Apparently we'll all be spending eternity in hell for attending UCSB instead of a REAL institution like Bob Jones University. Too bad the old man only dug himself deeper the more he smited us with his righteous sign (propped up in a gun holster, imagine that)--his presence alone galvanized activists and inadvertently furthered the Queer Student Union's cause, by bolstering Queer Pride week activities.

These street preachers have a rich tradition, always raining their hellfire and damnation anywhere there is heathen tolerance and pagan pride. Take my favorite Market St. staple--Mr. "No Sloppy Seconds." Reverend Owens Diaz brandishes signs that say "No unlawful sex" and chants such catchy slogans as "Sex only between a virgin woman and a virgin man. No leftovers. Sex outside of marriage makes the woman a whore and the man a whoremonger." Reverend, what exactly are leftovers? What, no doggy bag? Reminds me of one of Margaret Cho's jokes...but I won't get into it, my parents read this thing.

Anyone interested in putting down the signs and engaging in a civil dialogue about what Jesus really WOULD do?? Bill Maher via Kos:

"I don't believe in the Christianity that says one thing and then goes and kills innocent people and tries to rob women of their fundamental human right to control their reproductive lives, or deny people of the same sex their right to be married and have relationships and is judgmental and narrow-minded, and angry and vengeful. That is not the Jesus Christ that I believe in."
--Jane Fonda

"There are some people out there who are Christians...who believe that homosexuality is a sin. You know what? I'm a Christian. I do believe that it's a sin. You know what else? I believe divorce is a sin. Guess what? I've been divorced. Guess what? Jesus talks about divorce a lot more than he talks about homosexuality. I don't know why people obsess over it so much, but they do. Wait a second, I do know why they obsess over it. Because they get votes bashing gays."
--Joe Scarborough (wha-wha-what?!)

Some have signs, others have blogs. To each his own...as long as you're not imposing your beliefs on anyone by waving around obnoxious signs. Wait...


"Sinners!!! Blaaaaaaaaaarg"
(...well yea, this is UCSB forcryingoutloud.)

picture from the Nexus